Author Archives: Alanna Chermak

Making Play a Priority

Published on: May 26, 2016

Making Play a Priority

One of the best aspects of my job as a speech-language pathologist is that I get to play throughout most of my work day. I get to play chase, crash on bean bags, and pretend to be a big, bad wolf, all the while targeting objectives on a child’s IEP.

However, play skills do not come naturally to a child with autism.  Play skills can be one of the most difficult areas for a child to generalize because playing usually involves another person, and people can be unpredictable. Through play, a child learns to interact and communicate, relate to others, develop relationships, problem solve, and use his or her imagination. According to an article written in Pediatrics, “the overriding premise is that play (or some available free time in the case of older children and adolescents) is essential to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth” (Ginsburg, 2007). For a child with autism, play is integral to their development.

If you do some searching on the internet, many psychologists and specialists have conducted research on the development of play and socialization.  Psychologists like Jean Piaget, Lev Vygotsky, and Mildred Parten all have different theories on social development. However, there are some consistencies amongst the theories and their outline of types and stages of play.

Types of Play

  • Functional: using toys in the manner in which they were intended (e.g., bouncing a ball, pushing a car)
  • Symbolic: using materials to represent other objects (e.g., using Play Doh to make a fish, using a book as a hat); creating pretend play schemas (e.g., acting out a restaurant scene, being a character from The Three Little Pigs).
  • Game: playing games with rules (e.g., tag, board games, card games).

The type of play that a child exhibits isn’t always demonstrated in isolation; a child could demonstrate all three types of play at the same time, or could demonstrate a single form.

Stages of Play

  • Onlooker: taking an interest in other play but does not join in; may ask questions or talk to others but primarily watches
  • Solitary: a child is alone and maintains focus on his activity. He is typically uninterested and unaware of what others are doing.
  • Parallel: a child plays separately from others but close to them and imitates actions/play performed by others.
  • Associative: a child shows interest in others who are playing but does not coordinate activities with them; there is interaction involved but the activities are not coordinated
  • Cooperative: a child is interested in both the activity and the person/people involved; the activity is organized and those involved have assigned roles.

The stages of play typically develop in a hierarchical fashion, with the beginning stages associated with a younger age and less socialization. The later stages are associated with more language development and more socialization with others.

So, how does this all tie-in to a child with autism?

A child with autism may exhibit behaviors such as weak imitation skills, repetitive behaviors, lack of joint attention, difficulty shifting attention, and aversion to peer interactions. All of these characteristics impact a child’s ability to relate to and interact with others, develop perspective taking, and develop language and communication skills.

Play events create opportunities for a child to request, make comments, and protest, all within a more naturalistic setting. For a child who needs more structure, play can be predictable, allowing the child to anticipate the language and interactions.

When working with a child with autism, play is typically directly targeted in speech-language sessions. Therapy can address a multitude of aspects of play including, but not limited to:

  • Joint attention and joint reference: two children are both popping bubbles; a child shifts his attention to play-doh when it is labeled or pointed to
  • Reciprocal interactions: two children throwing the ball back and forth; two children taking turns during a conversation
  • Functional play: pushing a toy car back and forth, stacking blocks, throwing a ball
  • Pretend play schemas: developing steps and determining roles to pretend play restaurant
  • Commenting during play: saying “pop” during bubble play; saying “that’s cool” while playing with play-doh
  • Parallel play: two children playing play doh separately and showing interest in what the other is doing

Many of the objectives targeted during play aim to increase linguistic and social flexibility to prepare a child for interactions with others. Carrying over these skills at home and in the community is essential to a child’s success with play development and the skills that piggy-back off of play (e.g., social and emotional development).

Here are some ways to incorporate play at home to encourage generalization (be sure to meet a child at his current play level to ensure success):

  • Provide opportunities for exposure to and exploration of new toys or games.
  • Encourage participation in simple, reciprocal games that are not language intensive such as hide-and-go seek, Duck-Duck Goose, Hot/Cold, hot potato, and throwing/kicking a ball to a partner.
  • Build the repertoire of functional games or toys by providing direct instruction (such as building with blocks, racing cars) to allow for successful when playing with these toys during unstructured play opportunities.
  • Encourage development of symbolic and pretend play with toys that encourage dynamic play such as pretend food and dress-up.
  • Provide language scripts to appropriately protest and ask for help.
  • Act out familiar and routine sequences and assign roles (e.g., going to the grocery store, going to the restaurant).

Play is not an easy skill for a child with autism, and it frequently needs to be taught directly. However, there are ways to make play predictable and enjoyable so a child wants to continue to engage. Making play a priority at home has the potential to promote social, emotional, cognitive, and linguistic development. So, go play!

Written by:

Shannon R. Atkinson, Speech-Language Pathologist

Ginsburg, Kenneth R. (2007). The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds. Pediatrics, Vol. 119 (Issue 1).

 

Entering Adulthood with a Sibling with Autism

Published on: April 21, 2016

Growing up with a twin sister with Autism has been both a blessing and a challenge. Not many people can say that their first memory is that they thought everyone had a twin with special needs or that they were motivated to learn to read by the age of three because their twin somehow already knew how (nothing wrong with a little friendly competition). While growing up, I was mildly aware of the struggles my parents faced having a child with autism but I mostly was oblivious to it all. I always viewed my sister as having a friend to play with anytime I wanted and someone to blame things on when I was about to get in trouble.

My parents struggled a lot with my sister’s diagnosis early on. In the 80’s, autism wasn’t as widely known as it is now. My sister’s first diagnosis was mental retardation, which I think was the go-to diagnosis at the time. Of course my parents weren’t having it, and rightfully so. Cynthia could read and she was only 3 there was no way she had mental retardation. However, she was withdrawn, still wasn’t potty trained, had a lot of strange rituals, and never slept, My parents went to specialist after specialist sometimes staying places overnight (which meant I got to stay at my friend’s houses … party!) to figure out what was happening to their child. Finally, when my sister was 4 she was diagnosed with autism.

My parents were sad but relieved that they finally had an answer to what was going on. I remember tying explain to my friends what autism was which was always difficult, even now I don’t exactly know how to explain it since every person with autism is different. I’ve always felt like it was my job to protect my sister, I’ve gotten into more fights then I’d like to admit over someone saying the wrong thing about my sister or looking at us funny. I am a pretty easy going person until someone says something rude about a person with disabilities.

Sadly my parents passed away when my sister and I were young, my father passed away when we were 17 and my mom when we were 22. Since then Cynthia has been living with me. It is a weird feeling when you go from being in college with little responsibility to basically having a child over night. I have always been involved in my sister’s life but it’s a completely different thing when you are the one who is responsible for another persons well being.

Most people think I’m crazy or ask me if it’s difficult having such a big responsibility. Or, my personal favorite, why not just put her in a home? Honestly, having Cindy in my life is just what’s normal to me. Shortly after my mother passed away my sister did live in a group home for about 6 months while I finished college. It wasn’t bad but I always felt uneasy about who was taking care of my sister or if they were bringing strange people in the house. I was always concerned about my sister and she wouldn’t be able or know to tell me if something happened. Shortly after I graduated from college I decided to take her out of the group home and have her live with me. Overall, I think this was the best decision. I know my sister is safe and taken care of.

It does get stressful at times. My sister doesn’t receive any extra services or respite so it can be difficult finding time to take her to all of her appointments or stay home with her when she is sick. Trying to find balance in my own life while still taking care of my sister is a challenge. I am very quick to put her needs before mine but I do burn out over time. Sometimes I have to make myself step back and reevaluate things to make sure I am taking care of myself too. Even if that means I have to lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes to have a few minutes of quiet time, then that’s what I do. I am also lucky to have a kind and understanding husband who helps me with my sister as much as he can. He is always there no matter how difficult things get sometimes.

We are lucky that Cynthia is independent with most basic life skills. It was a long process getting her to where she is today but Cindy is able to get herself dressed, does a great job with her hygiene, and even does her own laundry. She can cook meals in the microwave, even though we usually have dinner together. Right now we are teaching Cindy how to unload and run the dishwasher. Which is great because now I don’t get stuck with the dishes as often.

Cynthia can be challenging at times, but who isn’t? I think that having a sibling with autism has definitely taught me how to be patient, kind, and caring to others. Even with all it’s challenges I can’t imagine my life any other way.

By Clare Pichler

For More information on The Shafer Center, please call 410-517-1113 or email [email protected]

Generalizing Skills at Home and in the Community

Published on: March 30, 2016

You’ve just received an update that your child is excelling in many of their programs at school, some of which may have even been mastered! You are ecstatic over the great news; however, the work is not done.

The next step towards your child’s independence is generalization. Merriam-Webster defines generalization as,

“the act or process whereby a learned response is made to a stimulus similar to but not identical with the conditioned stimulus”.

In other words, generalization is the transfer of a learned skill from the setting where it was taught to a more natural setting. Your child has mastered a skill in a controlled setting, but may still need assistance applying the skill to different faces and environments.

Let’s say that your child is making progress on appropriate ways to gain attention of others (raising their hand, taping on the shoulder, waving). They are able to appropriately gain attention from various teachers, therapists and peers in their classroom, but may still have trouble gaining attention from siblings at home. Many programs are designed to promote generalization, but your child may simply be having difficulty recognizing the skill in a different setting.

The best way to ensure that your child is able to carry over their newly learned skill with generalization is to maintain consistency. It is crucial to follow the same procedures, strategies and reinforcement schedules which were used to learn the skill initially.

For instance, if your child was receiving a minute of special toy time for tapping a peer on the shoulder before talking to them in the classroom, then they should be given the same toy for the target behavior at home. Open communication across your child’s team will make this process much easier. Remember, your child’s team should involve anyone who comes in regular contact with your child. That means if they are staying the weekend with Grandma, then be sure to inform Grandma of the proper protocols.

Many programs that your child is practicing in the classroom can be modified to practice the skill at home. For example, if your child is trying to request a snack in the kitchen, turn your body away from them and hold your response until they say “excuse me” or tap you on the shoulder. The behavior will be naturally reinforced when you provide them with the snack that they appropriately asked for. If your child has successfully maintained the skill at home, keep the momentum by applying the skill in the community. Sticking with the “gain attention” program as our example, take your child to a restaurant and see if they can generalize the skill by gaining the attention of the waiter or see how they do with unfamiliar peers at a park. You can facilitate social situations with other family members, peers, and members of the community. The opportunities are really endless.

Here is another example of a program generalized in the home and community. Let’s say your child has been doing a great job with counting money at school with plastic coins and paper dollars. At home, you can role play a trip to the store by using a toy cash register. Here your child is taking their learned skill of counting money and applying it in a different situation but still using the familiar stimuli of fake money.

After success with this, you can take your child out to an ice cream shop and have them count real money and pay for their own treat. Not only were they able to generalize across different stimuli (plastic money to real coins and dollars), but they were also able to generalize the skill in a new environment (the ice cream shop) and with a complete stranger (the employee).

It is of course something to celebrate when your child has mastered new skills in the classroom, but the consistent use of those skills across all environments is what paves the way for your child’s independence and involvement in all aspects of life.

By Mark Butler

For more information on The Shafer Center please contact (410) 517-1113

Snow Days at The Shafer Center

Published on: February 29, 2016

When schools are closed for snow days, most school staff has the day off to sit around in their pajamas or play in the snow. At TSC on snow days, we are working. We use this time to create new materials for our kiddos, review data and discuss our kiddos’ progress, and brainstorm new programs and activities for them. The kiddos may not be at school, but we are thinking of them and working hard for them to make sure we are providing the best quality services when they are at school.
Snow days make for a tough change in routine for a lot of our kiddos. It may be hard for them to understand why they are not going to school and then hard to transition back to school after a day (or more) at home. Here are some general tips* that may help with this change in routine.

The Change in Routine – Staying Home

  • Tell your child they will not be going to school as soon as you find out
    • If you do not know the night before, tell them that they may not be going to school, then tell them as soon as they wake up whether they will be going to school or not
    • It may help to have a visual (e.g., picture of home and school) to show them whether they will be going to school or staying home (see below)

  • Talk about what they will be doing instead of going to school
    • E.g., “You are going to stay home and we can play in the snow.”
      “Grandma is going to come over and play with you.”
  • Have activities planned for them to do at home (see below)
    • Make a special snow day box of activities for them to choose from

The Transition Back to School

  • Tell them they will be going back to school as soon as you find out
    • If you do not know the night before, tell them that they may not be going to school, then tell them as soon as they wake up whether they will be going to school or not
    • Talk about what they will get to do when they go back to school (the night before and in the morning if possible)
      • E.g., “You will get to see your friends/teacher/therapist.”
        “You will get to play in the Maze/play on the computer.”

*Talk to your child’s consultant for specific tips for your child

Activities for Snow Days at Home

  • Get crafty
    • Make snowflakes and snowmen with paper
    • Make snowmen out of marshmallows
    • Make snow bottles with water bottles, glitter, and paper
  • Make a fun activity out of something your child is learning in class/ABA
    • Matching – Cut out snowflakes and snowmen and have them match the pictures
    • Identifying objects – Find a winter scene on the computer and have them identify objects in the picture (pointing to them or saying the name of the objects)
    • Counting – count snack items (raisins, gummies, crackers) before eating
    • Find an educational app or website with games that focus on making academics fun
      • Talk to your child’s teacher/SLP/OT/consultant for specific ideas for your child
  • Play time – take some extra time to play with your child
    • Have your child pick an activity or join an activity they are engaged in
      • Let them lead the activity and you just play along
    • Play in the snow – go sledding, build a snowman, make snow angels
    • Make a fort out of pillows and blankets
    • Play hide-and-seek or simple board games
  • Cuddle up and watch a movie together

Please know that the TSC staff is working hard on the snow days for all of our kiddos and we miss them!

By Anne Stull, M.A., LPA, BCBA

Dealing with the snow – The Blizzard of 2016

Published on: January 29, 2016

Today is Monday, January 25, 2016.
As all of you know, since we are all still here, we survived the Blizzard of 2016 that began on Friday, January 22nd. My son, Parker is 14 years old and he is on the autism spectrum. My neurotypical son went to a friend’s house last Friday and he fortunately got snowed in there until…. (he’s not home yet). Anyway, we have been stuck inside since this all began. My husband is a big (6’4”) strong guys but this snow was even difficult for him to shovel. Most people would love having an energetic, 14 year old boy, around to help shovel the snow. Most 13-17 year old boys in the neighborhood are out in the snow trying to make extra money. Not my son. He’s content staying in the warm house, up in his room, playing on his I-pad, or Wii. However, on Sunday we started running out of his favorite drinks and snacks since we hadn’t been to the grocery store since Thursday.
My first approach to try to get Parker to shovel was to bribe him by telling him that I couldn’t go to the grocery store until my car was dug out of the snow. I got him all bundled up in snow pants, sweatshirt, coat, hat gloves, socks, and boots and sent him out into the frozen tundra. He went outside for about 5 minutes to try to help shovel but came back in complaining how cold he was. I immediately sent him back out and said you need to keep working and you will get warmer. My husband became very impatient with Parker and kept telling him he wasn’t doing it right. Parker came back in and said “Daddy’s being mean and telling me I’m doing it all wrong.”
Then I had to have a conversation with my husband that Parker may need to be TAUGHT to shovel. He’s never had to shovel snow like this. I told my husband “physically show him how you want him to do it so he’s not dropping snow on areas you’ve already cleared. Show him how to get the snow on the shovel. And then show him how to carry the shovel so the snow doesn’t fall all over the place. Explain to him that there are certain areas where you dump snow and then show him how to do that.” I always tell Ron to speak simply and to the point; to make sure Parker understands what Ron is trying to say. With a little patience, and dad not yelling at him, Parker felt more confident, and he lasted a little longer outside.
Today is a new day. We sent Parker out to shovel again. I also told him I would pay him for shoveling out my car just like the other kids in the neighborhood. And you know what; he’s still out there making a dent in all this snow. I’m so proud of him.
It’s funny because we think everyone knows how to shovel, but our kiddos need extra time, patience and extra explanations on how to do even simple things, especially if we want them done a special way.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

By Wendy Klausner, ABA Therapist & Parent

For more information on The Shafer Center please call (410) 517-1113

What Hayden has taught us

Published on: December 31, 2015

Rabbi Wohlberg, Cantor Albrecht, Hayden, family and friends, we are so excited to be here tonight.

I’ve thought about this moment for such a long time and thought about what I wanted to say. But how can I put into words what it means to be here and how much Hayden has given to us?

10 years ago, PJ and I didn’t know if this moment would be possible. We didn’t know if a lot of moments would be possible. But we learned that they are. Hayden has taken us on a journey that was unplanned and unexpected. It hasn’t been easy but the most important moments in life rarely are.

We had to learn a lot in order to help Hayden, but Hayden has taught us more then we could possibly imagine.

Hayden has taught us to celebrate every achievement no matter how small. Whether it was saying a new word, making a spontaneous comment or just putting his dishes in the sink. All accomplishments deserved to be noticed, praised and celebrated.

Hayden has taught us to be patient. That if you really want to connect with someone you need to give them time. When you are patient you become part of real moments. We ask Hayden questions and give him the time he needs to answer. By being patient, we’ve learned so much about what he’s thinking.

Hayden has taught us not to sweat the small stuff. Have you ever taken a moment and really thought about what the most important thing in your life is? Have you ever thought about what you really want for you kids? Hayden came into our lives and made us think about what’s truly important and we don’t worry about what doesn’t matter.
Hayden has taught us that family is the most important thing. He has brought us together and made us closer as a family. We are stronger because of what we have learned with him and we know that we are in it together; always.

Hayden is amazing.

And so are all of you.

PJ and I are thrilled to be celebrating with everyone in this room. You have all helped us on this journey and for many of you, Hayden has brought you into our lives. We are so thankful for all your love and support.

Rabbi Wohlberg – your kindness and encouragement started over a decade ago when I sat in your office talking to you about Hayden and you’ve been with us every step of the way. From being at Hayden’s preschool graduation at The Shafer Center to today for his Bar Mitzvah. You’ve been by our side. Thank you.

Cantor Albrecht – it’s a real honor to have you here for Hayden’s Bar Mitzvah. Thank you.

Rabbi Wecker – you supported Hayden behind the scenes and we could not have taught him his prayers without you. Thank you.

To our many friends – whether it’s been by playing poker or going out to lunch with PJ or talking on the phone or going out to lunch with me, you’ve given us some normal. To be with you just, doing whatever it is has meant so much to us. Thank you.

To our Autism friends – you have all come into our lives due to Hayden and we are grateful. There is no group on earth who can give you hope and encouragement in the ways that you have given us. Laughter at pooping stories and pride using curse words instead of other less desirable activities. Your help has been priceless. Thank you.

To Hayden’s team – his teachers, his services providers, and our Shafer Center family. Without all of you, none of this would have been possible. You have guided us through our journey with knowledge and advice and through your talents we have been able to help Hayden. They say that heroes don’t perceive their actions as heroic. But there is no action greater then helping someone else. That is truly heroic. You are our heroes. Thank you.

To Christine – it was Hayden and a-had-to-be fated phone call that brought us together. There are no words to express the impact you have had on our lives and many others. You have been with us through everything; cared for every member of my family. You are brilliant, humble, and a great friend. Know that it is because of you that Hayden’s future and the future of my family is filled with possibility. It’s a precious gift you have given us. Thank you.

To Yaya – everyone should have someone in their lives that loves them with all of their heart, listens to everything they say, and does everything and anything they want. Hayden has a very special love for you, as I know you have for him. You have been wonderful to us and you are family. Thank you.

To David and Angel – Dave, you gave me the gift of time when I needed it the most. You also made sure I laughed and having some funny lightened my load. You and Angel are just fun to be around – whether at the beach or just hanging at the house. We have a great time with you because you keep it simple. Thank you.

To Mom and Dad – the two of you have been my rock. No matter what was happening, whenever I needed to talk, you were there and still are. That support has been invaluable to me so many times. I know you wanted to do something more to help but just letting me be with you and tell you what was happening was something I needed and you gave it to me with open arms. You love us and the kids and know that we love you both very much. Thank you.

To Linda and Alan – you have both always been super proud of Hayden and who he is. You have been such strong advocates for PJ and I. Whenever we needed you, you where there – driving carpool, bringing food, or hosting sleepovers. Anything we have ever needed we know we can count on you to be there. Your love for Hayden and all of us is immeasurable. Know that we love you too. Thank you.

To Serena – you are the best sister ever. We know it hasn’t been easy for you – you’ve grown up with different rules and always hyper aware of what’s happening around you. But through all of that, your love for your brother and desire to help him grew and grew. Hayden is very lucky to have you as his sister and Dad and I are very lucky to have you as our daughter. We love you and thank you.

To PJ – it was over 17 years ago that we got married in this very spot. I couldn’t imagine the journey we would be going on together and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. You have made many sacrifices along the way but never saw them as a sacrifice. I’m in awe of that. You are a wonderful father and the best husband. I love you more than words can express. Thank you.

PJ and I hope all of you have a magical evening tonight. Thank you for being here with us. This has truly been the best Thanksgiving.

Hayden’s Bar Mitzvah Speech

Published on: December 22, 2015

Hello everyone.

Welcome Rabbi Wol-burg, Cantor

Al-brect, friends, and family. I’m so happy to see you all here for my Bar Mitzvah.

I’m happy to be doing this because it’s part of growing up and becoming a bigger part of my Jewish community.

Some of my favorite Jewish traditions with my family are celebrating Rosh Hashanah and Hannukah.

On Hannukah, we get to open presents, light the menorah, and I love to play dreidel with my sister, Serena. You spin the dreidel and see if you get a gimmel, hay, nun, or shin.

And on every Friday night, my mom says the prayers and lights the candles for Shabbat.

I didn’t know too much about the Hebrew language before I learned the prayers.

I also learned that the Torah is the Jewish book of laws and teachings.

Becoming a Bar Mitzvah is really important to me because it’s part of growing up.

To get ready for my Bar Mitzvah I had to learn Hebrew words and practice the prayers, write my speech, and learn about the synagogue.

I really liked learning a new language because I like to learn new things.

Something I’m good at is helping out my friends. I’m also good with math; it’s really easy for me.

I don’t like it when people annoy me.

Sometimes I have a hard time with doing chores at home and exercising.

And sometimes school and life can be boring or difficult.

But I know it can also be fun!

I feel really happy when I am playing games with my family.

One of my favorite things to do is play a game with my sister.

I like to play chutes and ladders or candyland with her.

I think my family likes it when I hang out with them.

One of the strategies to get me through things that are hard for me is to take breaks.

Another strategy is to take deep breaths. I’ve learned it’s important to use my words when I’m mad.

I am proud of myself when I do hard work.

There are a lot of people who inspire me and I want to say thank you.

First of all, thank you Cantor Al-Brecht for your great singing.

Thank you Rabbi Wol-burg for helping me prepare for my Bar Mitzvah.

Thank you Parker, Tess, and all my friends. You inspire me to be nice and I like to hang out with you guys.

Thank you to my Shafer Center team, like Amanda, Mark, Devin and Caroline.

You have helped me with work at school, practicing at the synagogue, learning the prayers and helped me with my speech. Thank you Christine for helping us for such a long time and thanks for being a great family friend.

Thank you Yaya for babysitting me and for giving me food.

Thank you Uncle and Angel for coming over to the house and helping my mom.

Thank you Mimi and ZZ, for making great dinners.

Thank you Grandma and Pop Pop, for the awesome sleepovers.

Thank you Serena for helping me out, and being the best sister ever, and I always have fun with you!

Thank you Dad for the best things you give me and for all the good things you do for me.

Thank you mom for all the coupons you give me and you are a good mom.

Thank you everyone for coming to my Bar Mitzvah!

I hope you have a great time!

Back To School!

Published on: August 24, 2015

It’s that time of year again. Back to school! The start of a new school year can bring a lot of changes, and therefore a lot of anxiety. The best advice to parents is to be prepared. Here are some helpful tips to make sure parents and students are ready and excited for a wonderful new school year.
1. Be sure to start preparing early. Help your kids start getting used to their school year routine early. Establish bedtime and wakeup routines in advance, so that you are in a good grove by the first day of school. Don’t wait until the last minute to ask questions or buy school supplies. The more you can get done early, the less you will have to worry about when the first day of school arrives.
2. Get your child involved! Talk to your child about the upcoming school year. As hectic as a new school year can be for adults, it can be even more stressful for kids. A new teacher? New friends? New routine?
Help them prepare by sharing any important information you collect, with them. Let them know about things they will see and do at school. Share any information about their teacher or classroom. If possible, take them to visit ahead of time. It may also be helpful for some students to have visuals or a social story to help them prepare. Collect pictures of their school and staff to pair with simple information about the items such as, the name of the school, their teacher, and general activities they will participate in. You can reference these items in the days leading up to the start of school, so your child has an idea of what to expect. The more you and your child know ahead of time, the less there is to worry about!
Shopping for school supplies is also a great way to involve your student. A lot of kids will enjoy getting to pick out their new backpack or lunchbox. It could also be a great learning experience for a lot of students. Talk about what different school supplies are for. Have them help you pay at the register. Involving your student may take a little more time and preparation, but it is a great way to help them get ready and excited for a new school year.
3. Use your resources! Contact your child’s teacher and school. Introduce yourself. Ask any questions you might have and see if they have any suggestions to help your child specifically prepare for their class. What is the drop off/pick up routine? What forms do I need filled out? What opportunities are there to get involved or meet other parents? What can I do to prepare my child? (Remember that social story we mentioned) Most of this information should be provided to you, but don’t hesitate to follow up or request more information. Everyone wants to make sure your child is successful from the start. Your teacher will appreciate your involvement and initiative. You will appreciate having this information ahead of time.
4. Finally, and maybe most importantly, have some fun! It all goes by so fast! Enjoy the end of the summer with your kids and have some fun. Once the school year gets going, be sure to be on the lookout for ways to stay involved with your child’s school. Field trips, parent visits, and musicals are all fun ways to participate in your child’s school and to see all of the great things they are doing.
Everyone is excited for this new school year and all of the exciting growth and changes it will bring. We hope you are too!

By Holly Bitner, M. Ed.

How Far We’ve Come

Published on: July 21, 2015

Wow how far we have come in 10 years. Back then I worried if Hayden would speak. Now there are times I would like a little peace and quiet. Yes, I still wonder if he will be able to live independently or go away to college. But I know he can certainly live at home and commute to college, if that is what he chooses to do. I know he will be able to make a choice and tell me if he wants to go away or stay at home. If I had to bet I’d guess he will be done with school, and more likely will fill his days either working or participating in his hobbies.

But we still have some time between now and then. I’m grateful to many more caring individuals today who have helped Hayden grow into the sweet kid he is today. He loves building legos and quoting the Frozen movie. Thank you to everyone who has helped him share with us that red is his favorite color, and that he does not like pizza. Each of you have helped us along this journey which looked bleak back then but has opened my eyes to celebrating each of the little accomplishments that make my boy who he is toady, and more importantly who he might become in a future with lots of possibilities.

May 19, 2005
Dear Friends at Kennedy Krieger,
It is late and I should be sleeping now. Nonetheless, I have gotten out of bed to write this message.
Today we had our next to last Parent Training. We have been coming every Thursday morning for the last 5 ½ months. In the beginning I had no idea why, other then it was a requirement of the program. For those of you who may read this and not be familiar with the program, it is an early intervention study for children with autism. My son who is 33 months was recently diagnosed with autism. At the time he began this program he had not been diagnosed. He had a diagnosed speech delay and a possibility of being on the autism spectrum.
I guess that was part of the problem. It is almost easier if he had cancer of heart disease. If he did, the physicians would diagnosis it, and then proceed to tell us what the course of treatment was going to be. But with autism everything is different. Clinicians do not want to rush to a diagnosis. As I have learned the earlier parents know the better chances their children will have to improve.
Having a diagnosis helps, but having the parent trainings is invaluable. Let me explain. When we started, we were clueless. All we knew was our son was not talking and that our older daughter had been speaking for over a year at his age. All we wanted was normalcy. In most ways Hayden appeared to be a typical child to us. He liked TV, kid’s foods, being outside and he loved to color. But he did not speak. He never said, “I want juice.” He barely said, “Mama” or “Dada”. At the same time I was worrying about Hayden, our daughter was transitioning from the terrible two’s to the tough three’s. I would joke with my wife that she should not worry so much about our daughter’s transition. I laughed when I told her that our daughter would still be a teenager and want to curse us, and that she would still go off to college. My wife was not amused that I was making light of her concerns, even though I was trying to assure her that all kids go through things and come out fine.
Then it hit me, the words “Autism Spectrum Disorder.” All the jokes I made were not at all funny. Our son might never speak, graduate from high school, let alone off to college or get married.
All any parent wants for their children is everything. We want them to be happy, healthy, smart, popular, well adjusted, and able to do whatever they want to do in life. We want our children to have choices, to be doctors or lawyers or CEO’s, or a park ranger is that is going to fulfill them. It might be nice if they were even President of the United States, or the next Bill Gates or Martin Luther King. The Important things are being healthy and having the opportunity.
When I walked with my wife and son to the parking lot after receiving our diagnosis of autism, I reached for the keys in my pocket and thought all the dreams I had for him till that moment were impossible. I did not know if he would ever speak. I did not know if he would have to be institutionalized. I did not know anything about autism. At that point it became about supporting my wife. While all of my dreams for Hayden seemed to get further behind us as I drove us home. I said what I could to be hopeful as I watched my wife’s eyes fill up with tears. I took what I could from the ambiguity of the doctor and spun it the best I could to give her some comfort. I took what I could from the ambiguity of the doctor and spun it the best I could to give her some comfort.
While our story seems sad, it is really a positive one. From that point of total devastation and hopelessness our lives have been forever changed. Our doctor had told us about Dr. Rebecca Lander and an early intervention study she was conducting and suggested that we try to see if Hayden could join that program. Fortunately for us he qualified.
The change for him and our family have been monumental. Hayden is speaking. He has over 100 words in his vocabulary. He can imitate almost anything we say and while he may not understand everything he is learning. He says “Hi” and “bye,” asks for jellybeans, and gives us hugs and kisses. Today on our way to school, he saw a truck that had a picture of Ritz crackers on it and spontaneously said “cookie.” No prompting and no pointing from us, just cookie. Absolutely amazing.
Six months ago I was worried that he would never talk. Six months ago I was worried that he would need care for the rest of his life. Today, I have hope that by age 6 he could start 1st grade in a typical classroom and no one think that at age 2 he was Autistic. I also have hope for college someday. But I now also know that it’s going to be okay if he doesn’t go. I know that he loves me and his mother. I know he is a very happy child and I know that he won’t need to be institutionalized. I know now that even if he does not improve such that he comes off the Autistic Spectrum, that if we keep working with him and loving him he will always be a productive member of our family. He has the potential to what I once dreamed he could.
Words cannot describe how low a person sinks when all of their dreams for their child are dashed. Nor can they ever give the true level of thanks and gratitude I feel to all the people who have helped restore that hope once again.
I would like everyone involved with the Early Intervention Research Program to understand that they are outstanding people doing extraordinary work. That each of you has in some huge way forever changed the lives of my family. Hayden has made outstanding strides in his time with you. We as parents have learned about his condition, what our options are, and how best to help him. More importantly we have learned that Autism is something we can deal with as a family, if not overcome. You have given us the power and knowledge to be able to teach and work with Hayden. You have given us the power and knowledge to find his next program. You have given us the ability to deal with the school system and county programs to get what we need. You have turned us onto community resources that will help Hayden to continue his growth. You have given us not only the hope that Hayden can be all of the things we had hopes he could be but the knowledge and power to help him accomplish it.
For all of that, I can never thank you enough or repay you for what you have done. I hope you realize that you are saving children’s lives. That in my eyes there is nothing greater in this world then giving life to a child and hope to his parents. I consider you to be saints. I hope that you can keep giving as much to other families as you have given to mine.
I thank you. Please keep up the extraordinary work that you do.

All my best,
PJ Shafer

To learn more about joining The Shafer Center for Early Intervention family, call us at 410-517-1113 or email us at: [email protected]

Planes, Trains, and Autism: Making Travel Easy For You and Your Child

Published on: June 26, 2015

Traveling with someone with autism may seem daunting, however with the proper preparation, anything is possible. As with any trip, it is necessary to plan out the activities and travel in advance in order for everything to be as smooth as possible. This is not to say that everything will be perfect, but rather there is a better chance success and not as many meltdowns.

PLANES
When traveling by plane, there are many potential troubles to consider: ears popping, waiting in line at security, or at the gate, and sitting on a plane for a long time, and these are just the beginning. Instead of taking the time to worry over what could happen, take the time to plan what you want to have happen.
There are programs such as Wings for Autism, which give children with autism a chance to experience a flight without taking a trip. In these programs, children get the chance to wait in line at security, sit in an airplane, visit the cockpit, and listen to how loud the engine will be. They will not leave the ground, but it will be a rehearsal for the real thing. You can find a list of upcoming opportunities at http://www.thearc.org/wingsforautism. Other ways to familiarize your child with the airport experience are to visit museums, such as The Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum, where your child can see, touch, and experience different aspects of air travel. You can also set up your own airport experience in your house. Designate different rooms and family members to represent areas and people you will encounter in an airport. Your child can practice handing off his/her ticket, placing luggage in a designated area, and waiting in line.
Based on the sensory needs of the person with autism with whom you are travelling, you might want to bring a pair of headphones to monitor the sound. The airplane itself has a loud engine, and there is always a chance of a baby on the plane who will probably become fussy. There are sounds that also will not be predictable, and having some noise blocking devices can be helpful.
Most people experience uncomfortable ear popping during lift off and landing on a plane. This may be an unpleasant feeling for your child, so try chewing gum or candy to offset the pressure. This can allow for a more comfortable beginning and end to your flight. You may also want to ask your pediatrician if you can use any over the counter medication to help alleviate potential ear pain.
Due to different travel precautions such as going through security before getting to your gate, people have to allocate a lot of time at the airport, which can be the reason for a long wait time. Layovers, flight delays, and flight cancellations can also potentially increase wait time exponentially at a gate in an airport. Bringing a large supply of preferred items is recommended for long wait times. It often helps to have designated items that can only be accessed during wait times at the airport. This increases their value and effectiveness.
Some airlines may let you board early or late depending upon the needs of your child. When booking your flight, be sure to speak with the associate and ask if this is a possibility. If you explain your child’s needs, most are more than willing to accommodate. This is something that should be noted again when you arrive at the gate, to be sure they still do not mind. You can also request the row of seats in the front of the cabin, which may feel less confining to your child.

CARS
When traveling in a car, everyone can get a little testy, since it is a small space and there is no room to walk around. As always, be sure to prepare your child for the journey ahead. Test it out by taking miniature trips and slowly elongating the drive. This will give you a better feel for when your child may reach his or her time limit of sitting still. Once you know that, you can better plan out your bag of tricks to keep everyone in the car happy.
When planning the time of departure and arrival at your destination, go with what you think works best for your child. Some people prefer to leave right before bedtime, so that the children sleep through most of the trip, while others choose to leave early in the morning to achieve the same result. If either of these is possible, it is definitely recommended in order to keep everything running smoothly.
For entertainment on a long drive, consider stopping at the library for music and DVDs. This will give you a wider selection from which you can choose. Get a mix of preferred and non-preferred, or you might be stuck listening to the same song or watching the same movie on repeat. Start with new or less preferred music to increase the length of calm sitting time during the ride. It’s often a good idea to designate specific videos for “travel only” to increase their value and make them more motivating.
Leapfrog has entertaining games that are fun and educational. Using a leapfrog tablet also allows for different individual activities if you have more than one child. This way if your child does want to watch the same part or play the same game on repeat, no one else will mind as it will be on their own personal device. No matter the device, be sure to have headphones so that your child is the only one hearing that device. Otherwise everyone will be listening to that one device rather than their desired item.
You might want to have a bag of items that are easily accessible at your feet so that you can change things out quickly in order to keep a relatively calm journey. Try to have a constant stash of preferred items, just in case you need them.

With all of these suggestions, travel should be easier. This is not to say that your trip will go without bumps in the road, but rather assure that you are well prepared no matter the situation. Also always remember that your child will be looking at how you are handling the travel experience. The more relaxed and at ease you are the more your child will be. Enjoy your travels!

By Jennifer Lichtman & Mark Butler

To learn more about joining The Shafer Center for Early Intervention family, call us at 410-517-1113 or email us at: [email protected]